Top 10 Things To Do My First Week at Microsoft

  1. Wear my Google t-shirt.
  2. Set my homepage to
  3. Continually ask, “Have you met BillG? Where’s BillG? When can I see BillG?”
  4. Show off my bright blue iPod Nano
  5. “Upgrade” my workstation to Windows XP
  6. Then just format it and install Ubuntu
  7. Randomly shout “Yahoo!” as I walk through the halls
  8. Add my gmail address to my e-mail sig
  9. Start an open-source project for Google Android
  10. Default browser: Firefox Safari

(I kid, I kid…)

8 thoughts on “Top 10 Things To Do My First Week at Microsoft

  1. Ammon

    Here’s a few more in no particular order.

    * Send all documents, spreadsheets, and presentations in either OpenOffice or GDocs format.
    * Use Emacs or Vi for all of your coding.
    * Distribute copies of Knoppix, OpenSUSE, and Ubuntu LiveCDs around the office.
    * Hold all of your meetings within World of Warcraft or Second Life.
    * Point and stare at anyone using a Zune and then snicker in derision.
    * Make a Ballmer bobble-head doll and feature it promintently in your workspace.
    * Optimize your webapps for the iPhone.
    * Quote Richard Stallman, Eric Raymond, Larry Lessig, and Fake (or real for that matter) Steve Jobs.
    * Wear exclusively black mock turtlenecks with khakis or jeans(a la Steve Jobs).
    * Talk incessantly about how funny those “Mac vs PC” ads are.
    * Complain about your now-useless HD-DVD Xbox 360 drive.

    I could come up with more, but this should do it for now.

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  3. jim

    Wow. That sounds like a list of really great office pranks for a Microsoft office. That said, I still have some technical issues with Internet Explorer (and I’m addicted to Firefox’s addon system), so Firefox would actually be one of the first installs I’d make.

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