Category Archives: Music, Film, Theater

The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me Was That John Williams Did Not Return My Letter

I have been a fan of the film composer John Williams since I was young. The first CD I ever bought was the soundtrack to Jurassic Park. I still have it. My collection now looks like this:

Photo of John Williams CD collection
My John Williams CD collection

And it’s still growing because I’m a sucker for all the reissues, expanded editions, remasterings, etc. that are being released these days.

On June 23, 2022 I was able to attend John Williams: The 90th Birthday Gala Concert at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C. Attending this concert, as well as the donor dinner afterwards, was my birthday present to myself. The National Symphony Orchestra with Stéphane Denève conducting, presented an inspiring program of some of Williams’ best works, with guest stars Steven Spielberg, Yo-Yo Ma, Anne-Sophie Mutter, Daisy Ridley, and Jackie Joyner-Kersee.

The program was wonderful and the concert lineup is available to see so I won’t go through the whole thing in this post. If you’re interested, her are a few a resources to browse:

Some of the highlights for me included:

  • The U.S. Army Herald Trumpets during Olympic Fanfare and Theme – Just amazing power. You’ve never heard the piece like this before.
  • Screening of Kobe Bryant’s Dear Basketball, with Williams’ score performed live.
  • The Duel from Tintin, performed hilariously and heroically by Anne-Sophie Mutter and Yo-Yo Ma.
  • Selection from The Rise of Skywalker – I believe this might be the first time this has been performed in concert.
  • Superman March – One of my favorites, which I had never actually heard in concert (though they did a slightly  abbreviated version as accompaniment to a photo montage of John Williams through the years).

Halfway through the concert, it was revealed that John Williams was seated in the concert hall (just a few rows behind me, in seat J-1 naturally). From then on, he received applause after every piece, as well as when he exited and entered the auditorium.

As usual, the concert was too short by half.

After the concert, those of us who were donors to the gala’s beneficiary, the NSO’s Music Education Endowment, headed to the Skylight Pavilion for dinner. I was at a table with seven other wonderful people: a family of five from Florida with two twin sons studying film music, and a couple from Connecticut. We made small talk, enjoyed our dinner, and discussed what the music of John Williams meant to us.

Daisy Ridley and me

A few of the night’s VIPs attended the dinner as well. After eating, I was able to briefly talk to Daisy Ridley and grab a quick photo with her. At the very end of the night I chatted with Anne-Sophie Mutter about her wonderful violin playing both that night and on her recent albums with John Williams. I told her what an inspiration she was to my daughter, who has just started learning viola. And finally, I exchanged a few words with Stéphane Denève, the night’s conductor.

The one person I was not able to meet was John Williams. Kennedy Center security was extremely tight around him and did not let anyone but close friends near him. They told one of my table-friends that if you managed to get through them, John would be extremely kind and would talk to you for as long as you wanted. But their job was their job, and they were serious about it. I was able to tell John thank you as he walked right by me on his way out. I don’t envy his position: he is one of the most famous musicians in the world, and everybody there would have given their right arm to spend a few minutes with him. He is also 90 years old and deserves to have as much time to himself as he wants.

But yet. There was frustration there, maybe a little sadness. I couldn’t meet him. I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t express how much his music means to me. I know this instinct to do so comes from a selfish place. He certainly doesn’t need to hear all of that from me. He’s heard it all. He knows it. Despite his well-known humility and graciousness, he knows his music means a lot to millions of people. No, it’s me who needs to tell him. It’s for me, just like this blog entry is for me.

We need our heroes to know from our lips that they are our heroes. We need to cement their feats in our mind like trees planted for posterity. “I’ve planted this thought between us. It exists. It’s real.”


In September 2017, John Williams came to Seattle and performed with the Seattle Symphony. I attended with my young daughter and we were fairly close to the front, with a wonderful view. This concert remains to this day one of the most significant events in my life. The joy I felt at hearing him conduct his music live was full.

Paradoxically, however, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and regret at the way one facet of my life has gone.

To be clear, I have an exquisitely blessed life. I have a wonderful family with three children. My career is successful, and we are more than comfortable. But at the concert that night I pondered the time at the beginning of my university career when I consciously chose to study computer science instead of music. After university came life: work, family, and other interests took over. My musical focus faltered.

In the second half of that 2017 concert, that sadness and regret changed to firm resolution—I was going to make a change. Interest in my other hobbies evaporated. My life suddenly felt too cluttered. I was impatient with who I was as a human being, let alone as a lapsed musician.

A few months after the concert, I sent John Williams a letter expressing some of these thoughts and thanking him for his life of dedication to so finely honed a craft.

I have since restarted my music education. My wife and I bought a real acoustic grand piano for the first time in our life (she also plays piano, wonderfully), and I’ve been playing it, diligently practicing on most days. I have been reading music theory and doing exercises. I have written a few compositions that I am willing to share publicly (and more that I’m not!). I decided I wanted to go back to my roots, and finally become a composer. I’d build up to it, but of course I wanted to write grand, sweeping scores for full orchestra–all like my musical inspiration John Williams.


Years later, a few weeks before the 2022 gala concert, the letter was returned unopened with “Refused” stamped on it by the USPS. To be honest, I half-expected as much. He receives far too much mail from too many people, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his years on this planet digging himself out of that mountain when he could be spending the time with his family and friends. I thank the anonymous personal assistant, employee, friend, or family member who sent the letter back rather than destroy it. I was able to get my Jurassic Park album cover back!

Between the returned letter and the inability to meet him at the gala dinner, something again broke in me. I realized that I had been seeking something that was never going to be true. I think subconsciously I wanted to be like him, to have his success, to have created all of that music. That attitude, subconscious though it was, was hindering me. I could never be like him. I can only be me. My past choices aren’t to be regretted, but built-upon and mined. My path is unique and my own, and it’s the only one I can walk down. I don’t have the connections or formal education that a music degree would bring. I can’t spend 8 hours a day studying or writing music. I’m starting fresh and late and all alone and that’s OK.

These twin concert experiences frame a confusing jumble of years for me, where I knew where I wanted to move toward, but not in the right way. It caused me to lurch from stolid determination in one moment to intolerable angst in another. I didn’t know who I was anymore, and I suffered for it.

For the universe (and Mr. Williams) to ignore me was the necessary correction.

I still don’t know where I’ll go with music, but I’m a lot more at peace about it now than I have been in the last few years. I’m spending more time just trying to be a good person. I try not to get anxious about not spending time on music. I try to spend quality time with kids. I meditate. I exercise. I try to cut out the things in my life that don’t bring fulfilment. And yes, I work on music. Slowly, deliberately, when I can.


Thank you, Mr. Williams, for all of your music, for being the soundtrack of my life. Thank you for the hours, weeks, years, and decades of intense, sacrificial, hard work that I know it takes to produce quality art. Thank you for a lifetime of providing music that create so much happiness and inspiration.


I still hope in the depths of my heart to someday meet him or hear from him–how could I not?! But it’s not likely, and I’m ok with that. We each must forge our own path, and I needed to learn that in a very specific way.

Girl from Mars – Magneta Lane

I first saw this video at the Microsoft Company Meeting 2008, and looked for the song everywhere, but couldn’t find the Magneta Lane version. They recorded it just for Microsoft. Nevertheless, the original Ash version is great too, so get that in the meantime.

Magneta’ Lane’s MySpace page does mention the song, and maybe a release is on the way.

Update: Forgot the music video from Ash. I like it.

Lots of Good Movies This Year

We might have to make a few exception this year to our decision not to go the theater anymore…hopefully won’t have experiences like the last time

Rudeness is destroying the arts

or Why I Don’t Leave The House Anymore

“Am I disturbing you?”

The last movie I saw in the theater was the 3-D version of Beowulf. The theater was fairly empty–maybe 30-40 people total. Two teenage girls sat two seats to my left. A man was in front of me. The two girls talked loudly through before the movie and when it started, they didn’t stop. They continued to talk and laugh loudly until the man in front gave up first:

Man: Excuse me ladies, the time for talking is over.

Girl: I ain’t talking to you! You turn right around and shut up. I ain’t disturbin’ no one.

Main: if you don’t stop talking, I will go get a manager and have you thrown out.

Girl: You shut up. Turn around, turn around… turn around mister.

Girl: <to me> excuse me, sir, am I disturbing you?

I looked at her and said, “Yes, you are.”

She shut up after that.

That wasn’t all in this showing. A man/woman couple behind me had the following exchange:

Woman: shut off your phone!

Man: I ain’t shutting off my phone! I don’t shut off my phone for anyone–I don’t even shut it off in church!

Woman: shut it off!

Man: No way!

(this repeated a few times in a similar vein.)

This man got up and left half way through the movie when his phone went off. He came in 20 minutes later with a friend, and they stood in the doorway and talked VERY loudly to each other and on the phone. The man in front of me got up and asked them to leave, and they did..after a minute or two.

What goes through the heads of these imbeciles?

“Thanks for coming to our bachelorette party!”

My mother, grandmother, and family friend were in London. They got tickets to see Dirty Dancing (which they thought was good, but not as good as the movie of course). Apparently that show is popular as a destination for girls’ bachelorette parties. The entire performance was punctuated by screams and yells every time the lead male came out.

I’m not against a good time, but this is the theater not a private party. Most of the audience is there to see a show. The theater should advertise certain days as more appropriate for this thing–theater aficionados beware.

“It isn’t real Texas theater unless you get drunk off your rocker.”

When my wife was visiting family in San Antonio they got tickets to see the touring Phantom of the Opera. They had nosebleed seats, which made the experience even more unfortunate.

Apparently, the theater serves beer throughout the performance–not just intermission. The guys in front of them got up half a dozen times to refill their beer glass throughout the show, blocking their view for a significant period of time. Add to this, the glare from the beer glasses, the opening of cell phones during the performance, bathing everyone in bluish glow, talking, and basically acting as if they were at a rodeo.

What is wrong with people that this is accepted behavior? Why aren’t these people kicked out more often? we (I’m including myself)willing to tell them their behavior is unacceptable and get management to act  ? And I mean without a refund–maybe even a fine or a ban.

Edit: My wife was so upset at the experience that she wrote the theater a letter of complaint.

Yeah, I’m a snob. So what–it doesn’t make me wrong.

All of these stories come down to rudeness at a basic level. People just don’t care what effect their actions will have on others. Sooner or later, this will creep up into the higher arts–classical music and opera, if it hasn’t already. Nobody will enjoy anything because of the few who just don’t care and ruin the experience for everybody.

I actually don’t think I’ll ever attend the theater to see a film again. We finally bought our first TVand a sound system. It’s modest, but it’s better than having expensive experiences marred by idiots.

Podcasts I listen to

I got a 4 MB blue iPod Nano 2nd Genfor my birthday last June, and while I do have a few music playlists, I almost exclusively listen to podcasts. I can’t believe I went so long without one of these. Putting together the list below led me to some others that I might give a try, but for now here’s my list:

Education

  • In Our Time – A weekly BBC production discussing various events, people, or ideas in history (recent or ancient). Always interesting. About 45 minutes long.
  • Philosophy Bites –  A weekly interview with someone about a specific philosophical topic. About 15 minutes long.
  • Talk of the Nation: Science Friday – Weekly show about all sorts of issues relating to science. It’s in a very easy-to-listen-to format. Broken into segments. About 1hr per week.
  • Science Talk from Scientific American – I don’t think I like it as much as Science Friday, but it’s still very interesting. It’s usually focused on one or two topics per episode, sometimes recording of lectures by prominent scientists. Weekly, about 30 minutes.
  • Grammar Girl – Nice and short, answers to tricky grammar questions. Often plays off current events. Weekly. 5 minutes.
  • Get-It-Done Guy – I’m a fan of Getting Things Done, as I kind of discussed in my entry on Outlook. This is a nice, short podcast with simple ideas for efficiency in your life. Weekly. 5 minutes.
  • Legal Lad – Answers to interesting legal questions. Weekly. 5 minutes.
  • Fundamentals of Piano Practice – really just somebody reading out loud the online book of the same name. I play piano, and I’m learning a ton of fundamental principles from this book that help. The hands-separate method? I’ve played for 8 years and never had it explained to me so clearly. It’s obvious in retrospect, but that’s the kind of good thing you learn in this book. Unfortunately, new readings haven’t been added since October. Varying length and frequency.
  • Learn Jazz Piano – I haven’t listened to any of these yet, but I’ve always wanted to play jazz. Infrequent (but still being updated!). 30m.
  • WordNerds – Interesting discussion of words and language. I always learn something interesting. Every three weeks. 30-60 minutes.

Business

  • MarketPlace – I like to follow the business news, and their format is really good. Entertaining, informative. Daily. 30 minutes.
  • MarketPlace Money – Their weekly show that goes into more depth on topics, discusses more “timeless” issues, answers questions. I really like this one. Weekly. 1hr.
  • Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders – Forums at Stanford with lecture and questions by famous entrepreneurs. These are frequently interesting, especially if you want to start a business someday. Weekly. 1hr.

Fun

  • Car Talk – how can you not have this on the list? They’re hilarious. And I do learn something about cars. Mostly, just fun, though. Weekly. 60 minutes.
  • LAMLradio: LEGO Talk Podcast – Interviews with LEGO builders, and others in the online LEGO community. I like it, but you probably have to be familiar with the community to follow it. Weekly 15 minutes.
  • MunchCast – A weekly show about junk food! I’ve only listened to the first episode, but I’m hooked. It’s more interesting than it sounds. Weekly. 30m.

Technology

  • .Net Rocks – Very well put-together show about .Net development, upcoming technology, interviews with industry pros. Twice weekly. 1hr+
  • This Week in Tech – Casual discussion of the week’s computing news with Leo Laporte. Highly entertaining. Has the cranky John C. Dvorak on often, but the panel rotates. Weekly. 60-90m.
  • Windows Weekly – Covers Windows-specific news (mostly) with Paul Thurrott and Leo Laporte. Also interesting stuff. Weekly. 1hr
  • Security Now – With Steve Gibson and Leo Laporte. They talk about all sorts of security-related topics. Very interesting, very well done. They have a knack for explaining difficult concepts in a way that’s easy to grasp. One of my favorites. I am not a security guru, but this is fascinating stuff. Weekly. 1hr.
  • HanselMinutes – with Scott Hanselman who now works at Microsoft. Discusses various technical topics, usually related to programming. To be honest I don’t like this one as much very often, but I still listen to it occasionally. Don’t know why…a little dry?
  • NPR Technology News – stories culled from various NPR programs into a 20-30 minute collage. Weekly.
  • The Tech Guy – another Leo Laporte show, in a longer format, with interviews, callers, and more.

Honorable Mentions

  • The Restaurant Guys – Discusses “food, wine, and the finer things in life.” If you like food, you’ll probably enjoy this podcast. I was probably interested in about half of their shows but something about them bugged me so I’ve dropped them for now in favor of other things. I may add them back soon. Daily. 1hr.

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The Fountain

We just got Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain in the NetFlix mail today, and we loved it. Definitely worth watching, a thinking movie, a feast for the eyes. The use of lights was spectacular. It was in the same realm as What Dreams May Come (though I liked that one better), but it also made me think of Orson Scott Card’s Speaker for the Dead. I’m afraid if I say why it will give too much of the movie away. It just needs to be seen and experienced.

See it–a wonderful movie.