Tag Archives: Humor

Free Code Here!

I just received this hilarious message: 

Thanks, you *****, for not responding to my Prim’s e-mail, and may you be cursed with the worst of success in Computer Science.

Sincerely,

Michael

Every once in a while I get requests from people asking me for completed code. The purpose of my articles (and this blog) is to aid understanding, not provide wholesale code. My job keeps me plenty busy, I receive a LOT of e-mails every day, and I probably don’t have the fully-functional, runnable code that people are looking for anyway, when they can probably find it on the Internet.

That said, I have received numerous comments, specific questions, disagreements, kudos, and suggestions that I have warmly responded to.

What’s the word for…

NPR ran a fun story the other day about coming up with words to express feelings or situations that we don’t have a word for.

My question is: what’s the word for the fear of writing “Love, ” (Like you would maybe automatically do to your spouse) at the end of an e-mail to your boss?

I’m not the only one who’s worried about this–a few weeks ago a coworker expressed the same fear.

Dear Blockbuster,

Our relationship has been a long one, but at long last the time has come to go our separate ways. I can’t say our relationship has been a happy one. I remember the long nights of walking up and down your aisles, looking in vain for a decent movie, only to return home empty-handed to watch something I already have.

But I’ve found someone new–someone who will give me the movies I want to see, the movies I can’t find in any of your stores–good movies. New movies, old movies, classics, thrillers, TV shows–anything I’ve ever wanted to see, but couldn’t fit in a store.

I’ve moved to NetFlix and I won’t look back. With nearly 80 movies in the queue and counting I’m looking forward to a good year or more of movies I haven’t seen.

Dilbert and Unfit by the same artist

I haven’t seen this anywhere else on the web yet, but my suspicion is starting to grow. Even if it’s a nutty theory, I’m still going to put it forward. Has anyone else wondered if Mike Belkin and Scott Adams are the same person?

There is a relatively new comic out there called Unfit by author Mike Belkin. Recently, Dilbert’s Scott Adams hosted a contest for a new artist for Unfit on his blog.

Has it occured to anyone else that the type of humor portrayed in both comics is similar? I think there is even a strong similarity in the artwork (hence the reason for an artist contest?) and the lettering. Unfit is just slanted differently.

Does anyone else think this?

Gift of the Magi

While I was shopping for a gift for my dad I must have mentioned to somebody something about how someday I wanted to build model ships. My dad caught wind of it, and on Christmas Eve I opened a nice set of knives and razors suitable for working with small wood parts. I was really confused. My mom got it, and laughed. I was still confused.

Later that night, my dad opened his model ship, and I handed him the knives which he had bought for me. Very funny. 🙂

Gum

I’ve never liked gum. I did eat the stale pink stuff sticks that came in Topps baseball cards years ago, but since then…yuck.

Today I had a piece of my wife’s gum. Ick.

Chewing gum is like brushing your teeth for thirty minutes.

The Customer Service that Keeps on Serving

After moving to the DC area a few months ago, I signed up for Comcast high speed internet. The service has been wonderful, no complaints whatsoever. As part of their promotion, they were giving away free web cams. So I went to the web-site and filled out the form. I got the Logitech QuickCam Messenger in the mail a few weeks later. Then, yesterday, I got TWO more ony my doorstep. Not wanting to unlawfully benefit from their mistake, I wrote them a quick note:

When I signed up for Internet, I took advantage of the free web cam offer. I received mine a few weeks ago, but yesterday I got TWO more in the mail from you. I would just like to know what to do with the extras. I’ll gladly keep them, but if you need them back, I can return them.

I thought that was simple enough. Was I wrong? I received this in reply:

Dear Benjamin Watson,

Thank you for contacting Comcast Communications.

We have received your question regarding the receipt of two free webcameras.

We appreciate you taking the opportunity to inform us of this matter.

All gift selections are final. Returns will only be accepted if the item is deemed defective, damaged, or if the wrong selection was fulfilled.

Merchandise must be in new condition with its original packing and accessories intact. In such cases replacement product will be sent to the customer at no cost. If the returned product is found to be neither defective, damaged nor incorrectly fulfilled, the customer must pay all shipping costs. There will be no convenience returns.

If the product is defective, damaged or incorrectly fulfilled, please contact us by email at <e-mail snipped> and we will assist you in the return. We hope this information will be helpful towards answering your inquiry.

Thank you for your patronage.

Sincerely,

<name snipped>

Comcast Customer Care

Hilarious! I still don’t know if they realize they sent me three free products instead of just one?

So now I have 3 brand new webcams, plus the one I already had! I can hook one up to each computer! At Amazon, they are selling for $34.97 apiece. I got quite a deal!